How to write a eulogy

Write a eulogy

Writing a eulogy can be a daunting task. You are already reeling from the emotions linked to bereavement and now you are asked to write a meaningful text in memory of a loved one. Take a look at this article prepared by author and grief counselor Dr. Alan D. Wolfelt for tips on writing an eloquent eulogy.

How to Write an Eloquent Eulogy

(Par Alan D. Wolfelt)



Organizing an eloquent, personalized funeral is one of the most important tasks you will carry out in your life. Consider the funeral a gift to the person who died. They give you the opportunity to commemorate and explain the significance of his life. Provided it is personalized, the eulogy is undoubtedly the most memorable and healing element of the funeral service. This article will help you choose the person who will deliver it and advice on writing and presenting the eulogy.

What do we mean by panegyric?

Also called the eulogy, the panegyric is the speech in praise of the deceased given during the funeral. It recognizes the unique life of the person who died and affirms the importance of that life to all the people who shared it. The eulogy typically lasts 15 or 20 minutes, but longer presentations are also appropriate.

Who says the eulogy?

A member of the clergy, a relative or a friend of the deceased may deliver the eulogy. If you prefer, you can ask several people to speak and share their memories. There is also a tendency to ask those attending the funeral service to stand and share a memory of the deceased. This is a particularly successful solution for smaller or informal meetings.

What happens if the person giving the eulogy didn't really know the deceased?

Remember that the eulogy does not necessarily have to be delivered by the person conducting the funeral service. Your priest or the leader of the service will only say it if he knows the family well and can speak personally about the deceased. If the priest did not know the deceased, it is much more meaningful to have a family member or friend say the eulogy. You can also ask several people to speak.



If your family feels that a sermon would be comforting, ask a clergy member to deliver one. Be sure, however, to have another person (or several other people) deliver a personalized eulogy. If you must choose someone who did not know the deceased well, share anecdotes or memories that are close to your heart with that person. Ask yourself the following questions: “What are the highlights of the deceased’s life? », “What precious memories are worth sharing? », “When did I feel very close to this person? », “What were his most admirable qualities? ".

What should the panegyric express?

We've already mentioned that the best eulogies are personalized. They tell memories and anecdotes about the life of the deceased and try to capture their personality. If the deceased was generous, the eulogy will give examples of his generosity. If he had a good sense of humor, the eulogy will feature funny stories or expressions. It is not necessary for the eulogy to cover every aspect of the deceased's life. In fact, the best eulogies are often about the thoughts and memories of the people delivering them. Try to acknowledge the deceased's loved ones and significant accomplishments, but don't feel pressured to write an exhaustive biography.


Also remember that the term panegyric comes from the Greek term panêguris meaning assembly of all the people and that it is a speech which has as its subject the praise of a person. It is therefore a time to give thanks for a person's life and to honor their memory. This is not the time to share painful or difficult memories, but rather to highlight people's qualities.

Tips for People Giving a Eulogy

Writing and presenting a eulogy is a loving, important gesture that deserves your time and attention. Although the task may seem daunting at first, you will find that once you have written down a few ideas, your eulogy will take shape quite naturally. After you say it, you will be thanked for your contribution and the family and friends of the deceased will always remember your words.

Here are some ideas to get you started.

    Be brave. Many people are nervous about writing a speech and delivering it in public. Forget your fears for now. You can do this task. Think about the person who died and the gift you will give to all the people who knew and loved them.Think. Before writing, take a long walk or drive and reflect on the deceased's life. This will help you collect your thoughts and focus on writing the eulogy.Brainstorm. Take half an hour (or more) to write down the thoughts, ideas, and memories that come to mind. Ask others to share their memories. A good way to involve others in the funeral service is to ask them to share their thoughts and memories. You can then integrate them into the eulogy. Look at the photos. By looking at photo albums, you will remember the main qualities and memories of the deceased. Write a draft. After brainstorming and collecting memories, you will write the first draft. Go to a quiet place and write the draft in one go. Don't try to write perfect text – just write. Set the draft aside. If you have enough time, set your draft aside for a few hours or a day before revising it. Solicit someone's opinion. Ask someone – preferably someone who knew the deceased well – to read your draft. This person will suggest revisions and help you avoid errors.Clean the text. Proofread your first draft. Look for inelegant expressions or starched terms. Improve transitions between paragraphs or thoughts. Find adjectives and verbs that truly capture the essence of the deceased. Present your eulogy with love. Now you are ready to present your eulogy. If you are nervous, think about the deceased rather than your own fears. You will relax. If you start crying while talking, it doesn't matter. Everyone will understand. Stop for a few seconds, collect yourself and continue. Speak loudly. Speak loudly and clearly so everyone can hear you.

The final word

Once again, the panegyric is a writing in praise of someone. Your desire to create a personalized, eloquent eulogy is certainly very commendable.

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